


We Are What We Believe

by dragonbee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Gen, Love Triangles, Multi, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-15 15:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13033644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonbee/pseuds/dragonbee
Summary: --EPISODE 8 SPOILERS--After Rey and the others escape Crait on the Falcon, Rey must help Leia establish a new rebellion. She chose to stand against Ben, but a choice easily made in the heat of the moment aboard the Supremacy in front of Snook's corpse burdens Rey as she tries to be a light. Poe is eager to be at her side, and she has her friendship with Finn--But she still cannot forget Ben as he could have been, not Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.After Finn and Rose convince the rebels to go back to Canto Bight and leave with riches as well as freeing many of the enslaved, Rey's responsibilities will only increase as she begins to train young people in the Force. The explosion of new power will betray both Rey and Kylo Ren's true desires...(Told from multiple POVs including: Rey, Finn, Kylo Ren, Rose, and probably more!).





	1. Rey

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to find some eager beta-readers for this work. I am hoping to write quickly and would love people who could get back to me in a timely manner. Please let me know if you are interested!
> 
> This is my first Star Wars fanfic. I will sometimes deviate from canon that isn't in the movies (comics, novelizations, etc.) if I am not familiar with it. I will do my best to be consistent with canon.

It felt as though the Millennium Falcon might soar through light speed until the end of time. Maybe that would be for the best. She sat in the seat of the blaster she’d used to attack Kylo Ren’s army only hours ago. Had that—had all of that—Truly been only hours before? Her arm still stung. Rey had slipped down here while those who truly needed medical attention were tended to. Now that she knew Finn was unharmed, she felt that she wasn’t needed right away. And she had earned some solitude, hadn’t she?

She held Luke’s broken light saber in either hand. The glinting metal was bright, even in the dimmed light of this lower compartment, thanks to the brilliant light of the stars passing by at unfathomable speed. 

_“You mean something to me,” he’d said._

And she knew that if that had been all that he’d said when he’d stretched his hand out that she would have taken it and held on tight, that she would have stripped him of his glove to have that contact with him again. So that they could see their future together. 

But he’d said more. And she’d seen that while I did mean something to him—she knew she did, just as he meant so much to her—That it was not enough. 

_A new order,_ he’d said. As though they had not just nearly died destroying the guards that had helped Snoke create his new order. The need for intimacy had been overtaken by a need for power in that moment. She had realized in that heartbeat of a moment that offering him her power would only mean his greater destruction.  
So, here she was. Still a member of a rebellion. One of only dozens survivors. General Leia was confident that they would rebuild. Rey knew that, of anyone alive, General Leia would be the one to know how to build a new rebellion.

She would still have to do everything she could do to help. Otherwise it’d be just as good as having grabbed Ben’s hand. No, Kylo Ren. She had to think of him as that way. Ren, her enemy. 

“Is there room down here for one more?” came a voice from above. Rey put the pieces of the lightsaber in her satchel before glancing up. It was Poe Dameron.

“Sort of,” she said, trying to sound at ease. “If you don’t mind cramped quarters.” 

“Have you seen the sorts of ships I fly?” he said, cracking a smile over his shoulder as he not so much climbed down the ladder but let his body slip down while holding onto the side railings. He made sure that she still had space, which she appreciated. 

“I have,” she said. “Even if I haven’t had the opportunity to sit in the cockpits of ships that were still serviceable.” 

“There’ll be plenty of time for that,” he said, leaning against the wide window that showed the blurred starscape. “I hear you’re a great pilot.” 

“Oh, well,” Rey said, shrugging. “I just learned a lot while I was on Jakku.”

“BB-8 and Finn told me,” he said. “They’ve told me a lot about you, actually.” He was watching her carefully. “You took apart old machines left from the Battle of Jakku, didn’t you?”

“That’s a nice way to ask if I was a scavenger,” she said with a wry smile. “And yes, I did. I know a lot of the old machines that the Empire used, as well as what the rebellion used. The navigating and piloting just… Came to me.” 

“The Force?”

Rey nodded slowly, the weight of the lightsaber pieces suddenly feeling very heavy. “I know now that that was what it was. The first time I flew this ship I hadn’t any idea how I had. I didn’t really think that was the sort of thing Jedis did, if they did exist.”

“And now you’re one of them.”

She didn’t answer that. Rey didn’t know what it would really mean to be a Jedi. Luke was gone so she could not ask him. She had taken the books with her when she’d left the island. Perhaps there would be time to decipher them and learn what it would mean to be a Jedi. She wished that Kylo Ren had not made that awful choice hours ago. She might not have ever become a full Jedi, but he would have known much of the teachings.

“I thought Jedis lifted rocks and did mind tricks,” Rey finally said.

“Well, everyone in this ship now knows that you can do the former,” he said with a low chuckle. “Just promise me you won’t do the latter to me.”  
Rey glanced up at him, forcing a smile. “No promises.” She heard a bit of commotion in the level above. “I’m going to go up,” she said. “I wanted to talk to Finn… Who is that girl with him?”

“That’s Rose,” Poe said. “She saved his life.” 

Rey glanced upward again. “Then I’ll have to thank her personally.”

She grabbed the ladder and worked her way up, step by step, eager to not only talk to Finn but to Leia as well.


	2. Finn

The burns on Rose’s neck and arm shone like metal from the cremes that the medics had given her. Her chest was wrapped in a thick bandage, a blanket covering the burns on her legs. Finn had been told that they wouldn’t know the full extent of her injuries until they brought her out of the medically induced coma. She should live, they said, but the way that the medic had gripped his shoulder with a somber look had made his heart sink. 

Finn touched my lips gently, my brows furrowing as Finn remembered the brief kiss. It had been so quick, so gentle that Finn wondered if he’d had imagined it. Rose had chanced everything to save him, and it seemed as though she might have been dealt a crap deck. Finn wished that he could take her hand, but the medic had said that he wasn’t to touch her until he was given permission. Not even on the parts of her that weren’t burned.

“Finn?”

Finn turned to see Rey standing and watching him. She gave him a weak smile and nodded toward Rose.

“I heard she saved your life.”

“Yeah, she did,” Finn said, pausing for a moment before standing. Finn resisted the urge to grab her and pull her into another tight embrace. He could hardly believe that they’d found each other again. He’d hoped, but that didn’t mean that there hadn’t been long stretches of time when he’d struggled to keep from mentally giving up.

“Is she going to be okay?”

“They say she’ll live,” Finn said, reaching to brush his fingertips across Rose’s bandaged shoulder before he could stop himself. Finn winced, as though he were the one who would be pained by the touch. “I’m not supposed to touch her,” Finn said before biting on his lip. 

“I understand,” she said. “It was hard for me to see you in that state before I left to find Luke Skywalker.”

“And now you’re a Jedi,” Finn said, nodding at Rey. Finn couldn’t help but feel pride in her success.

“Not… Really,” she admitted. “Do you want to hear about it?”

“Of course,” Finn said. She looked around the wide common space. It seemed as though most of the surviving rebels were camping out in the common space. The chairs were all taken and even the walls were mostly filled by people leaning against them for comfort. “Do you want to go somewhere else?” Finn asked.

She looked relieved, but gave Rose a glance. “Are you sure you’re okay going somewhere else?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Finn said after a pause. “Someone will come get me right away if need be.” 

They’d had the advantage of being on the ship previously and knew the layout of it. They found a small escape pod that nobody else had taken over. 

It was a long story for Rey to share. She would sometimes tremble, and sometimes Finn could see that she was afraid to meet his gaze. Finn found it hard to believe that she and Kylo Ren had been communicating over such a huge distance, but then again there were things about the Force that Finn surely would never understand.

“Wait,” Finn said, lifting a hand when she reached a crucial moment. “Kylo Ren killed Snook?” 

She nodded, looking very tired. Finn opened his mouth to ask more about it, but she pressed on as though she didn’t want to have to hear his questions. “He and I fought afterward. Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber broke at the same time the ships collided. I barely escaped with my life.”

Finn ran a hand over his short hair. “I’m glad you made it,” Finn said. “I missed you.”

She reached and took his hand as it fell. “I missed you too. I’m so glad you survived. Finn don’t know what Finn would have done to see everyone else climb onto the ship and to never see you make your way up the gangplank. Finn know we have the rebellion to fight for, and Finn am going to put a stop to the New Order, but all the same…”

“It’s easier to fight when you are fighting for something you love,” Finn murmured quietly, brow furrowed again, remembering Rose’s words. 

“Exactly,” she said, squeezing my hand again. Finn looked up and saw that there wasn’t any romantic passion sparkling in her eyes. 

“Rose said that to me,” Finn said, slowly, his head starting to hang. “That’s why she saved me, and why she’s the way she is.”

“She loves you?” Rey said.

Finn nodded slowly. “I don’t deserve it,” Finn said.

“I don’t think that’s true,” Rey said. “The part about you not deserving it. But what I do think is that she’ll get better. I’m sure of it.” She squeezed my had one last time before letting go. “And I can’t wait to properly meet her,” she added. 

It was an odd sort of understanding that Finn felt in that moment. He was sure she felt it too. Maybe she hadn’t realized the crush that he’d had on her from that first day they’d met. Or maybe she’d realized it later. But sitting across from her now, Finn could see that it had been the romantic impulse of a young man who had never known another woman besides his commander before. Finn admired Rey in ways he could not put into words. And yet there was a part of him that wanted to be down the hallway, sitting next to Rose and holding her hand instead. 

Heavy steps thudded outside the hallway.

“Rey!” called a voice, feminine and strong. They both stood and opened the door. A uniformed officer spun around at the sound of the metal door and let out a relieved breath. “I’ve been looking for you all over,” she said. “This ship is surprisingly bigger than it looks…” She took in a deep breath to recover herself. “General Leia wants you. There’s been some communication of some kind and she wants you to decide where we will go.”

“Me?” Rey said, looking confused.

The young officer nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

Rey glanced at me with a worried expression. “I’ll come with you,” Finn said. “As long as the general allows it.” 

And with that she stepped out of the room and followed after the officer. Finn trailed after the two of them, wishing that they could have at least a half day of quiet. There hadn’t even been time for anyone to have a nap and they already had to make a plan.


	3. Kylo Ren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren begins to make plans as Supreme Leader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was unsure if I wanted to do 3rd or 1st POV. The two previous chapters were 1st POV with Rey and Finn, but this chapter is Kylo is 3rd. I will be going back to edit the first two chapters tomorrow! 
> 
> Thanks for all your support, everyone!

“I want full records of your training,” Kylo Ren said. Admiral Hux’s expression was sour. Kylo Ren knew hat the admiral was going to take any millimeter that he, Ren, allowed him to. That meant he needed to ensure that there wasn't any room for the admiral to get ideas of supplanting him. 

“That is my focus,” Admiral Hux said, obviously restraining himself. “I am sure you have other concerns. Such as defeating Skywalker."

"He's finished," Kylo Ren said. Admiral Hux was brave enough to raise an eyebrow, but smart enough not to comment. The look Kylo gave him was certainly enough to unnerve most. "But there is the question of filling our ranks again now that you have allowed the rebels to decimate our ranks."

"That _I_ allowed?" 

The tension between them was suffocating. Kylo Ren felt as though, if he could have had a moment of privacy, that he would have thrown up. If he had ignored his uncle's apparition then he would have gunned down the base before everyone could have fled on his father's Falcon. 

Kylo Ren had always known he would rise above Hux. He had thought that it would happen differently, though. Not so quickly that there was no time to prepare him or everyone else within the New Order. He had had no time to gauge loyalties within his ranks. He and Hux were being watched by several of the other officers. Kylo Ren felt judgment from every pair of eyes, but he didn't know if it were he or Hux who were being more severely judged. 

_Does he suspect,_ Kylo thought, as he watched Hux’s strained expression, _That I was the one to kill Snoke, not Rey?_

The thought of her made his insides feel squeezed, much like the way he wanted to squeeze Hux’s throat again. He also felt certain that if he broke a few consoles he might feel better. But he wouldn’t let Hux use that as an excuse. 

“Things have not gone as we wished,” Kylo managed to say through gritted teeth. “And if we do not act quickly then we might find our Order at even more of a disadvantage than it already is. Now retrieve your records and have your top commanders join me when the last of the Knights of Ren arrive.” 

He had at least been in control enough to send for those last few to meet them after the destruction of Crait. Their support would give Hux pause before he tried to carry out a mutiny. “We will work together to expedite training.”

The look of distrust on Hux’s face didn’t bother Kylo. Hux had very good reason not to trust Kylo, but the faces around the general’s were much more relieved. Kylo had a feeling most of them thought he would have slashed their machines with his light saber if they’d blinked at him wrong. 

He stalked away from the bridge, his cloak flapping behind him after the whoosh of the automatic doors. He kept his back straight and his expression unreadable as he marched toward the small quarters he had taken for himself. He needed to sit, and to be able to let his face relax, and to let himself prepare for the meeting that would doubtlessly be overcome with arguments that he would have to endure with stoicism. 

The door to the quarters closed behind him, the spare bed and dresser all that recommended itself to Kylo. He closed his eyes once he fell on the bed, allowing his face to relax—But it would not. He felt his muscles twitching as he tried to let them release their tight, vice-like grip on his facial features.

Perhaps that was how Snoke did it. His face had been so damaged and he had been so old that he was able to keep from looking as though he were ready to maim at any moment. 

Kylo’s fists balled up and he slammed them against the bed on either side of himself. When that didn’t bring him relief, he kicked his legs, bucking his body up as though he were some sort of unsteady foal. He kicked again, like a child in a tantrum. But this wasn’t him upset over his mother not letting him have what he wanted.

Rey was gone. And he wanted her. 

He turned in the bed, kicking at the wall and letting out a pained, guttural cry. He could remember that look in her eyes when she’d made her decision. She would be on his father’s ship now, thinking of all the ways that she could kill him. She was just like his uncle. 

“I’ll bring her to me,” he said, although there was no one there to hear him. He had said before that he didn’t want the military to take any prisoners, but he’d changed his mind now. The other Knights of Ren had been selected by Snoke for their abilities in the dark side of the Force. Snoke had spoken of the potential that he and Rey had had for both the light and the dark. He would have to have her, he explained to himself, in order to ensure that he could find and train Force users to be strong in both. 

They wouldn’t be First Order, or Jedi, or Sith. They would be something completely new. And Rey would not leave him this next time. He would not let her. 

A bell-like sound rang in his room. “Supreme Lord? The ship has arrived.” 

“I will go to meet them,” Kylo said. His features had still not softened. He stood and straightened his dark clothes and cloak, preparing himself to make such a strong case that Snoke’s former followers would never question following after him now that they had lost their former leader.


	4. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance forms a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your support! I apologize for the delay in updating. It's been a busy holiday season. I am doing my best to keep Legends canon separate from 'true' canon, but there might be some glimpses of legends as necessary (like some characteristics of the Caamasi). 
> 
> Who do you guys want to be the POV for my next chapter? Rose or Kylo?

Rey hesitated as they drew closer to the main area of the Falcon. Everyone seemed to be there, except Poe and Chewbacca. Rey supposed they were piloting the ship.  


The general stood, glancing at Rose Tico and other members of the Resistance who were either comatose or unable to rise. 

“I found Rey,” said the young officer. General Leia glanced directly into Rey’s eyes before nodding and turning to address the remaining members of the rebellion. 

“I know that all of you must have questions,” she said. “And I wish that I had the time to go over each and every one of your concerns with you. But there is no time for us to share our individual questions with each other. Nonetheless, I think it is fair to say that all of you are most interested in knowing our destination. The Falcon is fueled enough to get us to the system that I have decided we will travel to.”

There was a low cadence of murmurs throughout the room. Rey felt her chest tighten. Even though she knew that they needed to land somewhere eventually, she couldn’t help but wish that they could stay in the Falcon. They could always flee in the Falcon. 

But, she told herself, the Falcon was terribly inefficient with it’s fuel and they didn’t want to have all surviving members of the Resistance in one place where they could be picked off in one go. 

“Although Hosnian Prime’s system was destroyed by Starkille Base,” continued the general. “When I sent out my personal signal earlier on Crait, a few surviving senators found ways to reach out to me. I do not trust all of the communications—Indeed, I would not be surprised if a number of those who heard my signal are loyal to the First Order. However, I did reply to the communication of one of my colleagues, Senator Izhili A’kli of the Caamasi.” 

There was another rumble of hushed murmurs throughout the room. Rey had never heard of the Caamasi. She glanced at Finn who shook his head.

“Senator A’kli was on Kerilt when Prime was destroyed. Kerilt is mainly uninhabited. The Caamasi home planet was destroyed during the reign of the Galactic Empire, and they have been slowly rebuilding on Kerilt and another planet. The Caamasi might not have much, but they are a peace loving race. They have always sought to improve the galaxy at every opportunity. From the nature of his correspondence, I believe that Senator A’kli hopes that his people can assess the galaxy once more, even with their diminished numbers.

“We will arrive in about twelve hours,” she said. “I know there is not much room for all of you to comfortably sleep, and so I would like you to split into two groups and take shifts. Chewbacca will show the technicians and ground support to the quieter areas of the Falcon… Not that it is saying much. I want you to rest first, as you will need to be prepared to establish security immediately after we land on Kerilt.”

She nodded at one of the officers who stood next to the general. One of the pilots moved to give General Leia a seat, but she shook her head and gestured that he should keep sitting.

“Kerilt is a rainforest planet,” said the officer. “We do not know much about it, although we will be searching for any records before we arrive. It is good that it is not a well-known planet. We know that the Caamasi can provide us with shelter and basic supplies, but beyond that we do not know what level of technology we will have available. We need to be prepared for a difficult road ahead of us.”

“Yes,” said the general, a wry—but tired—smile on her lips. “I know it’s all been very easy for you thus far, but you’ll finally face a real challenge.”  


There was a quiet, forced sort of laughter. General Leia gestured that they should disperse. Chewbacca came into the room started directing people to go to various compartments in the smugglers ship. 

“I guess we stay up now,” said Finn, looking around. 

“Yeah,” said Rey. She glanced at Rose, who was still asleep. “Maybe we can go to the cockpit.”

“That’s where I was going to ask you to go.” General Leia was speaking again, but Rey could hear the tiredness more acutely now that the general was not needing to give directions to the rest of the crew. She took Rey’s arm and nodded at Finn in a dismissive way before leading Rey toward the cockpit. 

Poe was sitting in the pilot’s chair. He glanced back at Leia and Rey and gave a quick greeting before turning his attention back to the galaxy beyond them. 

“Still on track?” General Leia asked.

“Twelve hours or less,” said Poe.

“I don’t mind the twelve hours,” said General Leia. “Our people need to rest. Don’t push this craft too hard.” She was smiling weakly, though. “You can sit, Rey.”

“General, you ought to—”

“Sit,” said the general. Rey did as she had been told. General Leia rested her arm on the top of Rey’s chair, leaning over and looking at her. Rey suddenly saw Ben in Leia’s eyes. Her stomach clenched, worried that the general would ask her about Ben. She didn’t know what she could say about him, and about what happened. She especially didn’t want to talk about it around Poe. 

She’d have to eventually talk to the general, though.

“General Organa,” she said. “Did you need to talk about…” 

The general looked at her for a moment, her expression softening. That only made it worse. For a moment, Rey could see that look in Ben’s eyes as he sought desperately to know he could trust her, and to know that he could count on her. She swallowed hard.

“No, no,” the general said gently. “Not… Now, at least.” She squeezed Rey’s hand, her eyes closing for a moment. “I do want you to take over to Poe at the moment. You need to rest,” she said, giving Poe a significant look. 

“I’ll be fine,” he said. “You don’t need to send me—”

“Poe,” said the general. Her tone was a warning one, enough to make Rey a bit nervous. He certainly had a lot of gall to try to tell her no.

“Why don’t he and I stay here?” Rey suggested. “I can take his place at the pilot seat and he can doze in the co-pilot in case I need him.”

The general looked from Rey to Poe before she sighed and nodded.

“And I’ll only rest if you will, general,” said Poe.

“I have too much to do,” the general objected.

“I agree with him,” Rey said quickly. “You need to rest.” General Leia gave her a slightly annoyed look, her earlier empathetic glance gone. “Think about it, General. You will need to meet with Senator A’kli and will have much to do. Who knows when you will next be able to rest?”

“Fine,” said the general. She sighed and patted Rey’s seat again. “But you two need to make sure that you are rested. Like I said, we have much to do.” She turned to leave. “And you might not have another good time to rest for awhile either—I might have to send both of you away as soon as we’ve arrived.”

She moved out of the cockpit and the door closed behind her. 

“I wonder where she’d send us,” Rey said slowly, switching seats with Poe. She adjusted the seat to be more comfortable for her height and checked the controls before glancing at him. 

“I can think of a thousand places,” said Poe. “But, you know,” he pulled his jacket off. “I’ll keep you safe, wherever we go.”

“You don’t think I can manage that myself?”

“I think you can manage a lot by yourself,” said Poe. “I think anyone who doesn’t know that you can is an idiot. But you also have the leader of the First Order after you.”

“Ah,” said Rey, her jaw clenching to keep from showing any emotion. “That’s not changed.”

“No, I suppose not,” he said, pulling his jacket over his head, apparently to sleep easier. “But all the same. I’m here for you. We all are.”  
Rey didn’t say anything. She stared ahead, eyes feeling the weight of more than sleep as she maintained the course. She wondered if Ben—No, Kylo—Was thinking of her, too. 

Had he let himself rest yet?

Kerilt. 

She had to think about Kerilt. 

She’d think about Kylo later.


End file.
